Ive been thinking about forgiveness lately. What does it mean to you? What can forgiveness do, what can it heal?
When people hurt you and push you into the dirt can/should you forgive them? Can forgiveness heal the wounds of the past or are we expecting it to do too much?
Ive been hurt a couple of times in my life and ive forgiven some of them yet with others i have my difficulties. I really dont know why i discriminate yet there are some people i cannot bring myself to forgive. There are people who have hurt me so much and in such an awful fashion that i cannot find it in my deepest heart to forgive them. Am i in the wrong for not being able to?
Forgiveness is letting go and moving on. Yet forgiveness can sometimes turn into denial- forgiving turns into forgetting. And this is exactly what i dont want to happen. The pain and suffering have shaped me into the person i am today. I do believe that you shouldnt hold grudge against people forever-you have to let go of pain and anger; which i have. I have completely let go of my anger and my frustration yet i cannot forgive some of the people who have installed such pain in me. I cannot forgive them for being disrespectful because that is something which i cannot forgive. Disrespecting a person when you dont know them is unforgiveable. Condescending someone beacuse they are different to you is just plain disgusting.
Maybe that is the reason i cannot forgive them: because they have shown traits which i cannot understand a person to have. Humans should be kind, loving and giving-not evil, condescending and cruel. Forgiveness is a concept that can heal wounds which have been inflcited on some sort of rational basis yet it can never and should never be used to numb the pain which is provoked purely for the fun of it.
At the end of the day i can say, "Im all good" because ive come to term with not being able to forgive something that should not be forgiven. Be wise about who you forgive because its a powerful tool- one that should not go to waste for people who dont deserve it.
Mittwoch, 19. Mai 2010
Dienstag, 18. Mai 2010
Save our Souls
This is working out to be an inspirational week!!!
Ive recently come to think about salvation. I dont mean what happens to your soul once you die, although that is something to think about too. What has gotten my mind working is how we find salvation on a daily basis. Who will save us when we're drowning?
In our every day lives, we are surrounded by temptation, stress and fear. We are afarid what will happen when we dont live up to expectations, we stress about our relationships, our workload and the pimples on our forehead. (Although that last one is easily solved with Cliniques Spot Treatment, FYI) We are constantly tempted by parties, men, women, fashion and alcohol. Temptation is everywhere and noone can blame you if you slip. However, how do you get back up.
I used to depend on other people to pick me back up. When i had a shitty day at school or work, id call my boyfriend, my best friend or id simply post my shitty-ness on Facebook to let others pick me up. It did work quite well for some time but then the inevitable happens: you get lazy. You forget how it feels like to pick yourself up from the pieces of your life and you're lost whe there is noone to do it for you. Its not a fun feeling to realize that, when there is noone around, you're pretty much lost in your own world and mind.
It was then i realized that salvation cannot come from the hands of others-it must come from within. Yes, you should always have people in your life that pcik you up but you shouldnt plan on that happening 24/7. The only way that you can save your soul is by knowing how to pick up the broken pieces and start again or keep going. You have to be your very own salvation.
When the going gets rough, dont blast your radio with cries of S.O.S- save yourself!
Ive recently come to think about salvation. I dont mean what happens to your soul once you die, although that is something to think about too. What has gotten my mind working is how we find salvation on a daily basis. Who will save us when we're drowning?
In our every day lives, we are surrounded by temptation, stress and fear. We are afarid what will happen when we dont live up to expectations, we stress about our relationships, our workload and the pimples on our forehead. (Although that last one is easily solved with Cliniques Spot Treatment, FYI) We are constantly tempted by parties, men, women, fashion and alcohol. Temptation is everywhere and noone can blame you if you slip. However, how do you get back up.
I used to depend on other people to pick me back up. When i had a shitty day at school or work, id call my boyfriend, my best friend or id simply post my shitty-ness on Facebook to let others pick me up. It did work quite well for some time but then the inevitable happens: you get lazy. You forget how it feels like to pick yourself up from the pieces of your life and you're lost whe there is noone to do it for you. Its not a fun feeling to realize that, when there is noone around, you're pretty much lost in your own world and mind.
It was then i realized that salvation cannot come from the hands of others-it must come from within. Yes, you should always have people in your life that pcik you up but you shouldnt plan on that happening 24/7. The only way that you can save your soul is by knowing how to pick up the broken pieces and start again or keep going. You have to be your very own salvation.
When the going gets rough, dont blast your radio with cries of S.O.S- save yourself!
Montag, 17. Mai 2010
Price to pay
To start off the new week with inspiration and many questions to ask, i want to discuss the notion of "friendship". What makes a friendship a good one? And when is it time to simply walk away?
Friendships are supposed to offer you comfort and warmth. They are the outlet for fear, frustration, love, laughter and happiness. Having friends around you ensure you have a safetynet when you run danger of falling. This concept, however, expects that your friends will actually be there to catch you.
In highschool, you tend to choose your friends because they belong in the same category as yourself: emo, Goth, punk, popular, cheerleader, football jocks etc etc. Yet, once you grow up and leave high school behind (some people never do, mind you!) you start picking friends who mirror who you've become or who you want to be. Friendships are incredibly important to a healthy life- nonetheless there is a point where friendships become distructive.I believe that friends are supposed to pull you through the tough times and laugh with you about anything. However, friendships, like any relationship, can end. What are reasons for ending a friendship? When is it time to just "let it die"?
I had a close friend some time ago with whom i shared everything. I knew her inside out, stood by her when her mother became very sick and held her hand when her studies were running danger of being over. Then she met her current boyfriend. Suddenly, it was my duty to badger her into hanging out, to have dinner together etc. I had to forcer her into spending time with me rather than i-chat with her lover. There is a saying "Bros before hoes" and i fully support it (transported to the female perspective of course :) ) You should NEVER abandon your friends for lovers. ever. Its just bad manners. Simple as that. When you're the one being abandoned, for whatever reason, you should stay and fight-not forever though. Its perfectly normal at the beginning of a relationship to be wanting to spend as much time with your parter as possible and friends need to accept that. Howvere, There comes a point where you have to let it go because a real friend-someone who cherishes you-will not let you go. Its that simple. I let my friend go, in the hope that maybe one day we could pick up where we'd left off. I ran into her on the street a couple of days ago- she bumped me out of the way with her bag. So much for that.
I love my friends. They make me strong, they make me happy and they give me a reason to keep going. When you have amazing friends you have to remember to always let them know how amazing they are to you. Friends are what make you rich. They are the family you can choose.
Friendships are supposed to offer you comfort and warmth. They are the outlet for fear, frustration, love, laughter and happiness. Having friends around you ensure you have a safetynet when you run danger of falling. This concept, however, expects that your friends will actually be there to catch you.
In highschool, you tend to choose your friends because they belong in the same category as yourself: emo, Goth, punk, popular, cheerleader, football jocks etc etc. Yet, once you grow up and leave high school behind (some people never do, mind you!) you start picking friends who mirror who you've become or who you want to be. Friendships are incredibly important to a healthy life- nonetheless there is a point where friendships become distructive.I believe that friends are supposed to pull you through the tough times and laugh with you about anything. However, friendships, like any relationship, can end. What are reasons for ending a friendship? When is it time to just "let it die"?
I had a close friend some time ago with whom i shared everything. I knew her inside out, stood by her when her mother became very sick and held her hand when her studies were running danger of being over. Then she met her current boyfriend. Suddenly, it was my duty to badger her into hanging out, to have dinner together etc. I had to forcer her into spending time with me rather than i-chat with her lover. There is a saying "Bros before hoes" and i fully support it (transported to the female perspective of course :) ) You should NEVER abandon your friends for lovers. ever. Its just bad manners. Simple as that. When you're the one being abandoned, for whatever reason, you should stay and fight-not forever though. Its perfectly normal at the beginning of a relationship to be wanting to spend as much time with your parter as possible and friends need to accept that. Howvere, There comes a point where you have to let it go because a real friend-someone who cherishes you-will not let you go. Its that simple. I let my friend go, in the hope that maybe one day we could pick up where we'd left off. I ran into her on the street a couple of days ago- she bumped me out of the way with her bag. So much for that.
I love my friends. They make me strong, they make me happy and they give me a reason to keep going. When you have amazing friends you have to remember to always let them know how amazing they are to you. Friends are what make you rich. They are the family you can choose.
Montag, 10. Mai 2010
Cease to exist
In today’s world, it has become evident that people don’t always get along. Americans and the Taliban, George W Bush and the Europeans, Greece and the rest of the EU…me and a ton of other people. Yet I’ve come to wonder, how do you deal with people in these situations? Should you show your distaste for the person or should you, despite all the odd ends, which connect you, remain respectful and put-together?
:I grew up in an environment that promoted respect above all and it is a value that I live by today. I believe that, not matter how much you despise the person, you should always respect them and treat them as a human being. I sadly had to learn that there are people who live differently. This is the first type of person which challenges my beliefs, however: Someone, whom I again shall not name, I was close to decided that I was too much of a threat to her and thus, out of jealousy and hatred, she began to destroy me. The stories which she made up, the evil things she did, to this day remain incomprehensible to me. Nonetheless, no matter how much I hate her and how much I blame her for some of my present insecurities, I will not be disrespectful. I simply don’t acknowledge her but I will not cross the lien to disrespectful.
The second type of person is the exact opposite of Type 1- they will always be nice to you, talk to you and want to hang out with you, but you both know that he or she hates your guts. Funny enough, this next person whom I make reference to is the mentor of person 1. Odd how things connect… I find these people the hardest to bear- I like to know what I’m dealing with upfront! Having to watch ones back gets irritating and frustrating-yet millions of people act like Type 2. Nobody likes fakes Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags and essentially you’re like one of those “contrefacons” you can buy in dark corners of street markets: cheap and unnecessary. Thus Here’s advice if you’re a number 2: Stop immediately. Do you really want to end up like all those fake products which customs pulls out yearly-shredded to pieces?
At the end of the day, there is an important lesson to be learned: no matter how much you despise a person and no matter what they may have don’t to you- “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” You need to remember that no matter how terrible someone has treated you, they are still a human being and you need to respect them. You don’t have to like them or even to care for them but you must always respect them. It’s a hard journey to find that respect for people who, on the surface, don’t deserve it- but once you find that respect within yourself, you’ll be a better and stronger individual.
:I grew up in an environment that promoted respect above all and it is a value that I live by today. I believe that, not matter how much you despise the person, you should always respect them and treat them as a human being. I sadly had to learn that there are people who live differently. This is the first type of person which challenges my beliefs, however: Someone, whom I again shall not name, I was close to decided that I was too much of a threat to her and thus, out of jealousy and hatred, she began to destroy me. The stories which she made up, the evil things she did, to this day remain incomprehensible to me. Nonetheless, no matter how much I hate her and how much I blame her for some of my present insecurities, I will not be disrespectful. I simply don’t acknowledge her but I will not cross the lien to disrespectful.
The second type of person is the exact opposite of Type 1- they will always be nice to you, talk to you and want to hang out with you, but you both know that he or she hates your guts. Funny enough, this next person whom I make reference to is the mentor of person 1. Odd how things connect… I find these people the hardest to bear- I like to know what I’m dealing with upfront! Having to watch ones back gets irritating and frustrating-yet millions of people act like Type 2. Nobody likes fakes Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags and essentially you’re like one of those “contrefacons” you can buy in dark corners of street markets: cheap and unnecessary. Thus Here’s advice if you’re a number 2: Stop immediately. Do you really want to end up like all those fake products which customs pulls out yearly-shredded to pieces?
At the end of the day, there is an important lesson to be learned: no matter how much you despise a person and no matter what they may have don’t to you- “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” You need to remember that no matter how terrible someone has treated you, they are still a human being and you need to respect them. You don’t have to like them or even to care for them but you must always respect them. It’s a hard journey to find that respect for people who, on the surface, don’t deserve it- but once you find that respect within yourself, you’ll be a better and stronger individual.
Montag, 3. Mai 2010
My dear Narcissus
When you look in the mirror, whom do you see? Do you see someone who is perfect or do you see someone who is a good person, despite some flaws?
I’ve come to ask myself this questions several times this past week-always with regard to a certain person. First off, I don’t like this person. In fact, I think that he is one of the most ignorant selfish idiots who have crossed my path-yet I find myself constantly analyzing his behaviour thinking “you’ve got to be kidding me!” So the question arises: do you see yourself clearly?
This person is someone who has an opinion about everything and everyone and isn’t afraid to show it. As much as I enjoy someone who has an opinion, I don’t enjoy it when people think that their opinion is the only right one. That’s the thing with opinions- they’re subjective. A good argument is one, which way pros and cons and then decides based on the presented arguments. The person I’m writing about has somehow not understood this concept.
When you think you’re better than everyone around you, there’s a strong chance you’re either totally bonkers or seriously full of yourself- mostly it’s a combination of the two. People who think that they are what the world needs seem to miss one thing: no one needs them! We don’t need someone around us who is constantly belittling, making us feel unworthy of existing. What’s even worse, whenever something doesn’t go the way these people intended, they blame others (see my essay on the constant victim J )
The person who has inspired me to ramble on about this is such a person. He left a student group because the people did not want him to be chairperson for a semester. Instead of asking himself why people didn’t want him as their representative and president of the society, he simply left and joined a rival society. Argument: ”They don’t know how great I am” True, not everyone is going to love you-but when even your roommate says that you’re full of yourself and you loose a presidential election to someone who is 5 years your junior you might want to start asking some questions. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that you should think highly of yourself and that you should hold your head high-yet when it starts raining into your nostrils, you have taken things too far.
When I look in the mirror, I see someone slightly neurotic who is a tad chaotic at times yet at the same time I see someone who is full of love, of joy and of compassion. You might wonder which mirror I’ve looked into? I looked into the most honest mirror one can find-the eyes of those around me. Our friends help us see ourselves clearly because they love us and they will be honest with you. Our friends shape us and we shape them- it’s a perfect symbiosis. Yet in order for that to really work to the best of your advantage, you’re going to have to let them tell you what they see. Sometimes it can hurt, sometimes you can question their judgement but you should always listen to what they have to say because their eyes are the mirrors to the world!
Don’t be like Narcissus and drown in your own image of perfection and flawlessness.
I’ve come to ask myself this questions several times this past week-always with regard to a certain person. First off, I don’t like this person. In fact, I think that he is one of the most ignorant selfish idiots who have crossed my path-yet I find myself constantly analyzing his behaviour thinking “you’ve got to be kidding me!” So the question arises: do you see yourself clearly?
This person is someone who has an opinion about everything and everyone and isn’t afraid to show it. As much as I enjoy someone who has an opinion, I don’t enjoy it when people think that their opinion is the only right one. That’s the thing with opinions- they’re subjective. A good argument is one, which way pros and cons and then decides based on the presented arguments. The person I’m writing about has somehow not understood this concept.
When you think you’re better than everyone around you, there’s a strong chance you’re either totally bonkers or seriously full of yourself- mostly it’s a combination of the two. People who think that they are what the world needs seem to miss one thing: no one needs them! We don’t need someone around us who is constantly belittling, making us feel unworthy of existing. What’s even worse, whenever something doesn’t go the way these people intended, they blame others (see my essay on the constant victim J )
The person who has inspired me to ramble on about this is such a person. He left a student group because the people did not want him to be chairperson for a semester. Instead of asking himself why people didn’t want him as their representative and president of the society, he simply left and joined a rival society. Argument: ”They don’t know how great I am” True, not everyone is going to love you-but when even your roommate says that you’re full of yourself and you loose a presidential election to someone who is 5 years your junior you might want to start asking some questions. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that you should think highly of yourself and that you should hold your head high-yet when it starts raining into your nostrils, you have taken things too far.
When I look in the mirror, I see someone slightly neurotic who is a tad chaotic at times yet at the same time I see someone who is full of love, of joy and of compassion. You might wonder which mirror I’ve looked into? I looked into the most honest mirror one can find-the eyes of those around me. Our friends help us see ourselves clearly because they love us and they will be honest with you. Our friends shape us and we shape them- it’s a perfect symbiosis. Yet in order for that to really work to the best of your advantage, you’re going to have to let them tell you what they see. Sometimes it can hurt, sometimes you can question their judgement but you should always listen to what they have to say because their eyes are the mirrors to the world!
Don’t be like Narcissus and drown in your own image of perfection and flawlessness.
Abonnieren
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