Easy way out?

Throughout these past few weeks i've been thinking about the reasons why young people end their lives. Suicide is still such a taboo yet i really wonder why so many youngsters each year make the decision to take their lives?!

Some people say that those who comitt suicide just seek the easy way out because they cant deal with their lives. I severely disagree. Todays world is a tough place be or grow up in. People expect things from you all the time anywhere-and sometimes these expectations are too much to handle. Admit it, even you have been exhausted by people who are constatly in your face, forcing you to do stuff and fullfill expectations you never wanted to fulfill. Some may argue now that "thats life- you're always going to be faced with expectatiosn from people." Yes, i agree life is a set of expectations but shouldnt you be able to chose which expectations you get confronted with?

When you're young you're still finding your place in life and you need guidance and a helping had-yet more often than not these expectatiosn come from people who jst want to force their lifestyle upon your back. Expectations should motivate you to excell and not to hide in your closet and cry your eyes out day in day out. I do believe that you should push yourself but you should never let other push you. Encouragement is great if it comes from the heart and is intended in a warm loving way and not in the cold, "you're not good enough" kinda way.

Some people ask themselves why so many young celebrities in Hollywood take medication and drugs on a regular basis- but i wonder:how can they not? They live such public lives with people constantly criticizing them, commenting on their looks, their acting that it gets hard to know where to turn to! We expect so much from them that we forget that they are just humans. Its us with our craving for Paparazzi shots of Lady GaGa in her newest outfits, of Britney having a melt down or of Paris Hilton without panties who force people to turn to meds to numb the pain.

When faced with high expectations some poeple just turn their backs and do their own thing-which is admirable. Yet there are also those who cant just turn their backs because they want to live up to expectations even if it will break them. We should consider walking in their shoes before we judge them.

So ultimately, ending your own life is never just the easy way out because, prior to doing so, you've gone to hell and back.

Judge Betty

Its time for some more monday thoughts!

This weekend i was at a housewarming party of a friend of my sisters. It was your typical mix of PC nerds, stylers and young parents. The night was quite amusing until the talk turned serious- to children. One of these nouveau parents asked my sister, once he learned that she was 33 and had been dating the sam man for almost 4 years, why she didnt have children... Way to kill a party people!!

This is when the inevitable question popped up in my brain- do we have the right to infringe upon others life choices? Are there things people should just do after a certain time and age? Or is this just empty talk by those who have been pressured by society into being a certain way?

Fact is, a woman who says she doesnt have kids or doesnt want kids is regarded as odd! One of my favourite scenes in the new sex and the city movie is when Carrie and Big are asked when they will be having children- and the shock reaction upon their response "it'll just be the two of us!" What is WRONG with it just being the "two of us"?? Whenever people ask a couple why they dont have children they always seem to insinuate that being a couple is not enough- why?

Society dictates that a family is a man, a woman and some children. Yet with time flying by and new ideals forming, what is wrong with a family just being man and woman? Or man and man? Woman and woman? What is wrong with the choice of NOT having children? Funny enough, the question mostly comes from couple who have children themselves-"because children are just such a joy!" How about you enjoy your kids then and leave the rest of us alone? If i were mean id say that they just want to flaunt their success in our faces yet i dont believe its that simple. As i mentioned above, society says that we should procreate and many do- so for them seeing people who freely choose not to is uncomprehensible.

What bothers me though is that we make people feel inadequate because they choose not to procreate. Maybe they cant,maybe they didnt want to raise a child in poverty or maybe they werent sure they'd be good parents- these are all valuable reasons for staying "just the two" yet we constantly condescend couples for it. What about those people who have children just for the sake of child benefit money? Or because with 6 kids they are entitled to a larger flat from social services? Why dont we judge them?

At the end of the day, whether you have children or not is a lifestyle coice you have to make by yourself because noone knows how its like to walk in your shoes. When confronted with the question "why dont you have kids?" maybe its time to smile to yourself and pitty the poor person opposite you who has succumbed to what society has prescribed for him. You should make your own rules in life and even if you're judged for it- stand by your choices and stand proud. This is your life and the choices you make only need to sit well with you.

to all the others: Maybe its time you stop judging...!

Home sweet home

Its the start of another busy weeks folks, and as usual im bringing you my thoughts of the week so that you can start off inspired! Although ive previously taken to the theme of "home" id like to look at it again yet from another angle!

What makes a home a good home? When is a home really a HOME and not just a place you spend your days at between work and parties?

When you suffer of homelessness, like moi, you need your home to be a place that looks and feels like you. I for one wnat my home to be warm, cozy and filled with light. Others may want their home to be a stylish designer haven filled with art and crafts and thats amazing too. What a home really needs to be, thus, is a place that makes YOU feel "at home".

However, more than once such a home is hard to find. I cant stand to be at my parents house for more than a couple of hours because not only does the place itsself feel cold and hard, the atmosphere is too. Just like the pale beige sofas will not forgive a wine stain, the people living in it will not forgive the free spirit. Its funny, when living at home you get the impression that your house is the only home you'll ever have yet once you move out you realize all the things wrong with it. Dont get me wrong, i love my parents and i am grateful for the way they raised me, but as im growing up i simply cannot find myself to be drawn to the same "beige and white" household style that they covet. Everything in my appartment screams comfort and coziness- from the sheepskins on my floor to the 3000 pillows and comforters stewn around the place- i want people to feel like they can just fall down and be whoever they are when they're with me.

So maybe thats the secret to your perfect HOME: its the place you create for yourself in between all the deadlines, meetings, lunches, dinners, cocktailparties and disputes: its the place where you can be who you are and say what you want. Its where you can spill wine on the rug without hearing how ungrateful you are and where you can stand gazing at your open fridge for hours (i know you do that too!!) Its the place that you love to come home to because you know its exactly the way you need it to be.