Judge Betty

Its time for some more monday thoughts!

This weekend i was at a housewarming party of a friend of my sisters. It was your typical mix of PC nerds, stylers and young parents. The night was quite amusing until the talk turned serious- to children. One of these nouveau parents asked my sister, once he learned that she was 33 and had been dating the sam man for almost 4 years, why she didnt have children... Way to kill a party people!!

This is when the inevitable question popped up in my brain- do we have the right to infringe upon others life choices? Are there things people should just do after a certain time and age? Or is this just empty talk by those who have been pressured by society into being a certain way?

Fact is, a woman who says she doesnt have kids or doesnt want kids is regarded as odd! One of my favourite scenes in the new sex and the city movie is when Carrie and Big are asked when they will be having children- and the shock reaction upon their response "it'll just be the two of us!" What is WRONG with it just being the "two of us"?? Whenever people ask a couple why they dont have children they always seem to insinuate that being a couple is not enough- why?

Society dictates that a family is a man, a woman and some children. Yet with time flying by and new ideals forming, what is wrong with a family just being man and woman? Or man and man? Woman and woman? What is wrong with the choice of NOT having children? Funny enough, the question mostly comes from couple who have children themselves-"because children are just such a joy!" How about you enjoy your kids then and leave the rest of us alone? If i were mean id say that they just want to flaunt their success in our faces yet i dont believe its that simple. As i mentioned above, society says that we should procreate and many do- so for them seeing people who freely choose not to is uncomprehensible.

What bothers me though is that we make people feel inadequate because they choose not to procreate. Maybe they cant,maybe they didnt want to raise a child in poverty or maybe they werent sure they'd be good parents- these are all valuable reasons for staying "just the two" yet we constantly condescend couples for it. What about those people who have children just for the sake of child benefit money? Or because with 6 kids they are entitled to a larger flat from social services? Why dont we judge them?

At the end of the day, whether you have children or not is a lifestyle coice you have to make by yourself because noone knows how its like to walk in your shoes. When confronted with the question "why dont you have kids?" maybe its time to smile to yourself and pitty the poor person opposite you who has succumbed to what society has prescribed for him. You should make your own rules in life and even if you're judged for it- stand by your choices and stand proud. This is your life and the choices you make only need to sit well with you.

to all the others: Maybe its time you stop judging...!