Sugar and Spice

Good Morning Cavenders,
Another Monday, another start to a great week!
I was recently involved in a discussion with a friend of mine, a discussion during which my friend questioned my motives on a certain subject. She said freely and openly what she had to say, even if some of the things werent positive. Nonetheless, it was what was on her mind and i was open to hear it. At the end of the evening, when we had settled what we had to discuss, she said to me "I hope you're not mad at me for saying what i did." and that struck me. In a friendship, arent you supposed to say what is on your mind? Isnt a friendship exactly about being honest to one another and not having to say "im sorry" after?
In a friendship, should you be brutally honest or should you sugarcoat your feelings?
During this discussion with my dear friend, she did say things that hit me hard, but those were her feelings, those were her inquiries and she had the right to ask what she asked. Surely, i thought "No way" on some accounts but what we do and what others see can be two different pairs of shoes! A true, good friendhsip should always be based upon honesty- and honesty sometimes stings. Things which are perfectly clear to you can be obscure and incomprehensible to those around you. So your friends are really the only way to see yourself clearly- whether we like it or not.
I like to think of myself as someone whom you can't define. You cant fit me into a box or category and im proud of that. However, that ingenouity comes at a cost. People will always have an oppinion about you- as they cant define who you are they try to "figure you out" because you scare them and make them uneasy. Everyone is one way or another, so why cant you be? is the question often asked. I dont care much for their thoughs, as long as they are people i a, dont like or b, dont even know. Thats where my friends come in handy. They know me, they can define me, and they will let me know when my behaviour has gone from ingenue to insane. Thats why i love them. They are honest with me, they are open, they tell me exactly how it is.
Its rare that one finds people who arent around to please you but are around for whom you are. Friendships should always be about honesty and openness. You should never have to sugarcoat your feelings with your friends because they know you and they will not take it the wrong way if you tell them when something is wrong.

If they do, they're not our true friend. Its that simple!